Important reading for you
- dyadic work with children and families using an attachment based therapy
- sandtray work for children and families
- sandtray work with adults
- play therapy with children and families
Sandra is an EAP provider for:
- Organizational Health Inc.
- UFCW Canada Local 12R24 Members Assists
Sandra is an associate with Dr. Dan Dalton and Associates, Fergus, ON www.drdandalton.com
FINDING JOY
Wow! This sounds so simple. Find joy. Be joyful. Enjoy. It is much harder than it sounds - or so it seems. We have all experienced moments of joy, times of joy, periods of joy and the joy with others but how many of us live a joyful life MOST of the time? How many of us live a joyful life half of the time? The answer "should" be - all of us, most of the time!
In about 2004, I bought a little book called The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. Along the way, I lost it twice and found it (once I left it a friend's home and the other time I found it in a box of books that I was giving away). Finally, I lost it completely and had to purchase a new one. I found that finding joy was more difficult than I had thought. I also realized that I was quite resistant to doing what I needed to do to have joy be a part of my life on a daily basis.
These are the ten menu items in Martha Beck's book.
Nothing: Do nothing for fifteen minutes a day. Much harder than one would think. How could 15 minutes be so difficult? The moment you really quiet your body, you'll feel the monsters of unprocessed grief, rage or fear yammering at the dungeon doors of your subconscious mind. This can trigger an intense fight/flight reaction, flooding your body with adrenaline that will render you angry, anxious, or restless, rather than peaceful. (pg. 17). Doing nothing takes some practice.
Truth: Telling the truth unmasks what we have been hiding. Without exception, denial is a tool we haul out when the truth would rock the various social boats in which we live our lives. (pg.29).
Desire: What is your heart's desire? Learn how to let yourself want what you want. Aching, longing, hungering, and thirsting are the signals by which our authentic selves call us toward our destiny. (pg 50).
Creativity: Think it up. Write it down. As you go through customary activities, change your behaviour in one way. Walk a different route to the kitchen, eat spaghetti with your fingers, walk the cat. (pg. 89).
Risk: Take one baby step toward reaching your goal. The only rule is it has to scare the pants off you. Experience has taught me that the way to a joyful life is always fraught with fear, that to find it you must follow your heart's desires right through the inevitable terrors that arise to hold you back. If you don't do this, your life will be shaped by fear, rather than love. (pg. 93).
Treats: Give yourself a treat for every risk you take and two treats just because your you. NO exceptions. No excuses. Maybe you'll realize a destiny that is completely and uniquely yours, that will delight and surprise not only you but the rest of the world as well. (pg. 127).
Play: Play wholeheartedly. It means that we should surrender to relaxation, to flexibility, to the balanced state of mind and body that makes doing a job, raising a child, negotiating a deal, even violent conflict, feel like dancing. (pg. 149).
Laughter: Laugh at least thirty times a day. It breaks up mental clogs, allowing your thoughts, feelings, intuitions and actions to flow freely into areas you may never have explored. (pg. 153).
Connection: Interact with someone who matters to you. The problem is that just having relationships, even being surrounded by huge crowds of people who love you, isn't the same as really connecting, heart to heart. (pg. 183).
Books to read:
Ban Breathnach (1995) Simple Abundance
Brach, Tara (2003) Radical Acceptance Embracing Your Life
with the Heart of a Buddha
Brach, Tara (2004) Radical Acceptance
When we feel held by a caring presence, by something larger than our small frightened self, we begin to find room in our own heart for the fragments of our life, and for the lives of others. Pg. 209
Judith, Anodea (2004) Wheels of Life
Hay, Louise (1990) Love Yourself Heal Your Life
Workbook
Hay, Louise (1999) You Can Heal Your Life
Johnson, Spencer (2002) Who Moved My Cheese
Louden, Jennifer (2000) The Comfort Queen’s Guide to Life
Louden, Jennifer (1997) The Women’s Retreat Book – A Guide to Restoring, Rediscovering and Reawakening Your True Self in a Moment, an Hour, a Day, or a Weekend www.jenniferlouden.com/ www.comfortqueen.com/ www.thelifeorganizer.com/
Marston, Canfield & Hansen (2004) Life Lessons
for Women (Chicken Soup)
Chödron, Pema (1993) Comfortable
with Uncertainty
Chödron, Pema (2001) The Places that Scare You – A guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
Redfield, James (1993) The Celestine Prophecy
Richardson, Cheryl (2000) Life Makeovers
